but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
