I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize