Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
