That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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