doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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