Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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