NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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