Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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