I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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