i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
