we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
