I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had sex on a roof
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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