It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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