he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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