How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
