Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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