I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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