These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
