you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
