I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
