your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
