If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
