M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's never too late to be topless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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