all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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