I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize