I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
