It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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