You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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