what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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