That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
