I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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