problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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