In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
