I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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