Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
