I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize