puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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