It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
