i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
