At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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