I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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