Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
