we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
