If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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