normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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