Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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