I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
