you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
