This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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