YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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