Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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