At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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