I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
