I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
