Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ttyl tear gas
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
