If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize