she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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