I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
