i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
