The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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