thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
