Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize